The nature of lies
When did we all start fibbing?
If you want to buy a house these days you will come across the language that estate agents use. We have all come to accept it.
Estate agent speak
“In need of modernisation”
“This property is totally derelict and will cost a fortune to bring it up to scratch.”
Estate agent speak
“On a dual carriageway between a busy pub and an underground station.”
They use words like “Bijoux” which in French means ‘a Jewel’ so for property, it should translate as “precious, small and chi-chi”, in reality, it is used to describe a shoe box of a home.
We all know they are lying, so when did it become common place and even acceptable to lie in such a way?
Massachusetts University did a study into lying in 2002, they found that 60% of the participants told an average of 3 lies in a 10 minute chat. During the course of a day that could amount to hundreds. Where has this culture of falsehood come from?
I constantly hear friends lie about the most mundane of things, for example telling me they got home at 11pm rather than 1am, that is not something that I care about I was just making conversation, does it really make them look better? It just feels so redundant.
Lies lead to unhappiness
The 9th commandment is “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour”. I think they had it right, the Commandments are on point (mostly). I fully believe this culture really makes us miserable. The photo-shopping of already incredibly beautiful people which just sets expectations too high for us all. It makes many feel inadequate, unworthy, unloved. There is a wonderful Cindy Crawford quote “I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford” meaning that in pictures she looks far better than she does normally. It’s incredible, she is one of the most gorgeous women alive and even she feels the need to aspire to her own image. It causes such a sense of failure and despair in ‘normal’ people. This holy grail of beauty which can never really be achieved without a whole bunch of lies.
When we act with integrity, ‘doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do’ there really is no need to lie. I see my friends tying themselves in knots trying to be what they perceive others to want them to be. We need to take a breath. I have sat down with friends and told them that I know that they lie to me about many things, some of the stories can be wildly entertaining but that is not why I have them in my life. I love them on a soul level that transcends this BS. Lying causes massive anxiety, wondering whether you will get caught out at some point, double lives, which many lead, may play havoc with their physiology not to mention their soul.
Honesty is the best policy
Not being honest with yourself and those around you is no way to live, I even consider ‘white lies’ to be ridiculous. There is no need to be cruel, whilst getting ready to go out, if your friend asks “does this look okay” instead of reassuring them and allowing them to leave not looking their best, you can just suggest another outfit. There are ways to say things with compassion, if you talk truly from the heart, people can hear you without getting offended.
The world is so full of lies right to the top with all the “Spin” we are given by politicians. Did we ever find and weapons of mass destruction in Iraq or was that just utter nonsense to get us to go to war and steal oil?
If we truly want change in the world, we need to as individuals and stop telling and accepting lies, there will be little awakening and revolution before this happens.
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Be well, be happy.